Don’t Think of a Pink Elephant

or The language of persuasion and internal action

Did you know that certain language patterns can influence the way we think and feel?

As an example, think about the following:

Have you ever done something so elegantly and effectively and then sought to have that experience again?

Or have you had times when you were really inspired and delighted with an outcome and then wondered how you did it?

The above is directive and generally would have you internally referencing those experiences, which in turn could create pictures in your mind and feelings about those experiences.

The language of persuasion can be structured in many forms, some subtle and some can be a direct influence on ones thought process.

As an example, if I were to say, “Don’t think of a pink elephant”! “Don’t think of a pink elephant on roller skates” Did you think of one? It is highly likely that you would be visualising a pink elephant on roller skates!

Basically, the use of language when structured in specific patterns can influence not only yourself but those you interact with. By using a technique known as NLP you can learn to not only create and use language patterns to persuade and influence others you can also learn to model your own successes and unfold a way of continually bringing out the best in yourself and others.

NLP is a practical skill that creates results through the use of techniques that can be applied to training, counselling, business, therapy and everyday life. It is the language of persuasion that focuses on understanding how language influences thoughts and behaviours, with yourself and others.

NLP tools and techniques also enhance genuine communication and create positive outcomes for all parties involved. Neuro-linguistic programming is so-called because, effectively, it uses words (linguistic) to reprogram (programming) the brain (neuro). It’s sometimes been referred to as mental manipulation. It can, of course, be used manipulatively, but there’s so much more to it than that. It’s used in coaching and even in therapy to change the way people think about things.

At its core, NLP is based on the premise that there is a connection between neurological processes (neuro), language (linguistic), and behavioural patterns learned through experience (programming). By understanding and leveraging these connections, individuals can enhance their communication skills and influence others more effectively.

It can also be used internally, with self-talk to make change and influence your thought process. NLP techniques can also help identify whether someone is more responsive to visual, auditory, or kinaesthetic cues, allowing the persuader to adjust their language and approach accordingly.
Here are some key techniques and concepts:

• Rapport Building: Establishing a connection with your audience by matching their language style, tone, and body language.
• Anchoring: Associating a specific word or phrase with a desired emotional state.
• Framing: Presenting information in a way that highlights certain aspects while downplaying others.
• Metaphors and Stories: Using storytelling to illustrate points can make messages more relatable and memorable.
• Presuppositions: Structuring sentences to imply assumptions that lead the listener to accept

The above are just a small sample of the NLP techniques that are used to influence others. Deeper layers are used in the Milton model.

As an example, generally we can use language patterns to uncover what people really want. When you ask someone what they want, generally they may tell you what they don’t want, (classic move away from behaviour). 

So, what we want to do is remove the individuals mind set barriers. So, what we may say to overcome this is “Ideally, if there were no constraints on size or price, what would you really like?” 

They will then internalise and generally tell you what they want, you can then modify and mould a solution to fit within their constraints.

Effectively this pattern is a form of low-level hypnotism because they have to search, and when they search they make pictures, and these may be attached to feelings that they then describe to you.

Another example is maybe you have been discussing holidays with your partner and when you ask them where they want to go they say, “I really don’t know”. 

Deep down inside they do know, so again remove the constraints by saying, “If money and distance were no object, what would you like to do?”

Again, when they respond you can begin to tailor the solution to the price and distance they can afford while at the same time taking on board the aspects of a holiday they would really like.

This can be applied to any situation where you want to get to the core of an individual’s needs. Of course, none of these techniques is guaranteed or fool proof but they can all load the dice in your favour!

If you want to know more or are interested in developing your NLP influencing skills please drop me an e-mail at brad@insightfulcoachingsolutions.com